Sunday, October 18, 2009

Frustrated

Well, all Ella has left to accomplish is to EAT!!! It seems so easy, but yet so hard. I guess our frustration is that the overnight nurses keep telling us that she isn't showing the signs of wanting to eat, so they don't even attempt to give her a bottle. They have some kind of rating. I call it laziness on their part. The nurse told me today that Ella wasn't showing signs of eating and she would advise me not to give her a bottle. I insisted anyway and Ella ate half of her bottle. In the middle of feeding her, I decided to change her diaper and then the nurse wouldn't let her finish the rest of her bottle. They just keep giving her milk through her NG tube. Maybe some of you previous NICU Moms can help me out here. Somebody explain it to us. Jason and I are beyond frustrated. Most of you know that you don't want to get Jason mad! I understand that it is still 5 weeks before she is supposed to be here, and I understand that her condition might delay her a little. She has maintained her temperature and everything else is going well. Her ultrasound showed that the bleeding has stopped and is resolving itself. However, the ventricles are still swollen. The ultrasound did show that they could possible be a little more swollen than before, but our doctor today told us not to worry about it. She said it could have been then angle of the ultrasound or a different person reading it. Ella will have one final MRI before she comes home. They just want to wait to get the best results (they get better results the further away from birth).

Grandma Susan came and visited this weekend. She helped take care of these crazy little boys!

I seem to always be talking about Ella and Carson on this blog, so I thought I would share something about my little Cooper. He basically was born smiling. Cooper has the best personality and can cheer you up in a heartbeat with his ornery smile. He is so easy going! He's my baby boy and will probably get by with anything from me! My mom has told me that you love all your kids the same, just in different ways. I completely understand this now! They are all my favorites!

p.s. Pray for our sweet girl to EAT, EAT, EAT!!!!! (from the bottle) & for the ventricles to shrink on their own!

Love,
Traci

3 comments:

  1. Hi again,
    I KNOW your frustration. Our little guy was in the NICU 10 weeks...the last 3.5 were only because he wasn't eating. He was off of everything else...no breathing tubes, not having any major "episodes", no jaundice, done with the scares of infection, etc. but still on the feeding tube. The nurses said he was burning too many calories while trying to eat from a bottle and eventually he just stopped and seemed to give up. It was incredibly frustrating because that was the only hold up on getting our baby home. Crazy thing is that he'd breast feed, but since they had to measure what he was eating it wasnt good enough. I prayed and prayed that he'd just eat and gain weight, but it wasnt happening. Out of all that we went through those weeks, that was the most depressing time for me. Just knowing that that one "little" hold up was keeping him from me. All the nurses kept saying "one day it will just click" and it seemed to with all the other babies around us, but not us. One day I was so frustrated and I went up there and said "okay this is what is going to happen. I am going to be the mom and I am going to be here at every feeding and I am going to do it my way" They actually offered me a room and literally 2 days later he ate everything from bottle and breast and we were home. I understand that sometimes the babies just need time, but if you really feel she can do it then speak up. I am praying for you...we've been there, we know the frustration. GOd has a plan though...he knows her and what she can handle. Praying that little Ella will gain the strength she needs to eat and that that the ventricles will shrink. :)

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  2. Traci....so glad to hear the good news....the ventricles WILL shrink...and Ella is a MacKinnon...she WILL eat!!!! We love you!!! This is a phrase from Jonathan to Isabella Marie "You're a Sooner, so get up and whoop some bull".

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  3. Hi Traci, Yes, it does get frustrating with the nurses wanting to be their "mom" all the time and think they know what is best. I had to literally stay up at the hospital all day the week before we got to take our little guy home. I made sure that I was the sole caretaker for him - fed him and changed him. The only thing I couldn't do was hold him very long because he was getting too stimulated. If they are too stimulated they just wear their little bodies out and they don't respond well to any feedings. I so understand your frustration but hang in there... as soon as our little guy got home, he ate just like he was supposed to.
    Hester

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